Postpartum health.  As a new or expecting mother, you will get ample amounts of unsolicited advice about what you “should” or “should not” be doing when caring for your child.  Swaddle for as long as possible, don’t swaddle.  Breastfeeding is best; you should supplement with formula.  Daycare is a germ infested petri dish; daycare helps socialize your baby.  Vaccinate, period; don’t poison your children.  Oh, you’re going back to work? Wow, someone else is raising your kid.  You’re a stay-at-home mom? Hmm, that must be nice and easy. The list goes on and on. 

So, I am not here to give you any advice whatsoever.  I am just going to speak on my experience and what has been helpful for me, as a thirty-something, first-time, working mom who gave birth, sold her house, moved across the country, and started a new job in the span of three months during a pandemic.  Very general circumstances.

Let’s talk about POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION. I am not whispering the words, I am stating them loudly as to reduce the stigma.  I was thrilled my delivering physician asked depression-related questions at my prenatal and postnatal visits, and I commended him as both a clinical psychologist and a woman. Not just for my mental sake, but for other women who may not be as acutely aware of mental health symptoms as someone formally trained. I didn’t have postpartum depression by clinical definition. I did have overwhelming emotional experiences of postpartum guilt and inadequacy.  

Here is a quick mental health lesson.  Did you know you do NOT have to feel depressed in order to have depression?  Yes, sadness is one of the nine symptoms; however, you can experience something called anhedonia in addition to, or in lieu of, depressed mood.  Anhedonia is a lack of interest or decrease pleasure in previously enjoyed activities.  Hobbies, socialization, exercise, can all become considerably less enjoyable.  Couple that with low mood, sleep deprivation, appetite disturbance, excessive feelings of guilt, and fatigue and you’ve got yourself in a quite a slump (otherwise known as a major depressive episode if this goes on for two weeks or more at a time).  So what can you do if this happens?

One of my favorite therapeutic interventions utilizes behavioral activation theory.  Essentially, this theory hypothesizes the more depressed someone feels, the more isolated and inactive they become, which in turn exacerbates symptoms of depression. Break that vicious cycle, do fun stuff. This always reminds me of an Eastbound and Down quote: “Ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?”  What do you enjoy? Make a list of 10 activities you find enjoyable.  I will do it right now. Running, taking strolls with my family, cooking, grocery shopping (sue me), long hot baths, exploring new locations, swimming, sitting in the sun, drinking coffee in bed, and kicking my husband’s ass in Scrabble.  I do at least two of those activities daily. 

Back to postpartum and activity level: giving birth during COVID-19 meant I could not leave my hospital room.  Probably would not have been so bad if I was in a nice hospital room, but boy was that far from true.  When they wheeled us outside to the car, I just started crying.  Being free of that room immediately brought much relief, and I was so overjoyed to be going home as a family of three.  What was the first thing I did? I put on my workout clothes and we went for a walk.  I couldn’t do much in way of exercise (or baths) for 6+ weeks, but I was able to replace those activities with other baby-related stuff.  Those “strolls” as we called them gave me mental clarity, helped me move, got all three of us out of the house and in fresh air.  They are some of the best memories of my early motherhood days.

Okay, so I really thought I would be sharing 10 or so tips that worked well for me in this post but I am clearly very longwinded.  Feedback is appreciated.  Drop a comment below if you want to see more of these types of posts intermixed with my whimsical recipes.  To all you moms out there, I see you.  I respect you.  I appreciate you.  I am with you.